Dating Advice
by pupeez4eva
Summary: Wally doesn't know why he agreed to babysit Dick's demonic little brother. He also doesn't know why Damian keeps accusing him of staring at Dick. BirdFlash.
**AN:**

 **Okay, so this is combined with the comics. It takes place when Bruce was** **'** **dead** **'** **, Dick was Batman, and Damian was Robin. Hope you enjoy! :D**

…

Wally isn't completely sure why he agreed to this. Sure, Dick was his best friend, and he would do literally anything for the guy but — wasn't this pushing it? Couldn't there be a limit to that 'everything'? Because surely this was pushing it. Wally would do a lot of things for Dick — he'd throw himself in front of a bullet for the guy. Just last week, he'd given Dick the last donut from the jumbo pack they'd bought.

But this? This was too much.

Babysitting Dick's demonic little brother was just _too much._

Right now Damian (a suitable name, Wally thought with a slight shudder) was staring blankly at the television screen, while the sound of Lilo and Stitch blared throughout the room. Wally sat next to him, staring at the clock with more than a little desperation, and wondering when Dick would get back. His friend had called him about an hour ago, begging him to come over and watch the little demon for a while. Apparently something urgent had come up at Wayne Enterprises, and Dick had needed to head of immediately. Alfred had taken a few days off to visit family, and as for everyone else — well none of them were gullible enough to agree to this.

Wally had said yes, of course, since he was just that great of a friend. And there was no way he could say no to Dick, not about this. He knew his friend was having a hard time; he'd not only lost his father (and that was two fathers now. Life could be a serious bitch), and had the Batman mantle thrust upon him, but he also had to deal with all of Bruce's responsibilities at Wayne Enterprises, and Bruce's son.

It was enough to make Wally feel more than a little resentment towards the older man. He knew he wasn't being entirely fair; it wasn't as if Bruce had planned for this to happen. But Dick had his whole life stretched out ahead of him, and now he had to deal with a life he'd never wanted, and a child he'd never planned for. Dick was one of the best people Wally knew, and he didn't deserve any of this. He deserved to be _happy,_ dammit.

So when he'd asked, of course Wally had said yes. And sure, maybe he was regretting it, just a little bit. But Damian was a creepy kid, so surely he wasn't the first person to feel this way.

And besides — what Dick didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"Why do you keep staring at Grayson?"

Wally jumped, and whirled around. Damian stared at him expectedly.

"What?" Wally asked. He was surprised — since Dick had rushed off, leaving him alone with Bat-Junior, Damian had made a point to ignore him.

"You stare at Grayson a lot," Damian said, his eyes narrowing. "Why?"

"…I don't." Wally swallowed. "I don't know why you'd say that."

"I am not overly concerned," Damian replied, shrugging. "I just thought I'd let you know. You are supposed to be the fastest man alive, after all — " Damian scoffed lightly, " — so I should not have caught you in the act."

"I wasn't staring," Wally repeated, and, oh god, he could feel his cheeks heating up.

Damian's eyes narrowed. "I am a master at observation. You were staring."

" _No_ I wasn't, thank you very much!" Jesus, did this kid ever _shut up?_ "Now, go play with your toy trucks or something."

"I do not _play_ with _toys,_ _"_ Damian sneered. "And you seem _awfully_ defensive. Are you plotting something?"

"What? No!" Wally's eyes widened. Jesus, where did this kid _get_ these ideas from? Wally seriously needed to convince Dick to drag him to a therapist.

Damian leaned forward, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Wally tried to move, and felt his back hit the arm of the couch.

"Are you planning on hurting Grayson?" Damian growled.

" _No!_ _"_

Was running away too dramatic? Because Wally was seriously considering it right now.

"Grayson has no sense of preservation," Damian continued, "and I refuse to stand by while you make any nefarious moves."

"There's nothing 'nefarious' going on!" Wally snapped. "Dick is just the type of guy you stare at, okay? You'll understand when you're older."

And then he froze, because _shit, what the hell had he just said?!_

"Ha!" Damian crowed, pointing a finger at him. "So you _are_ planning something nefarious!"

" _No!_ _"_ Wally cried. "And stop saying 'nefarious', you're making me feel dumb!"

Damian barred his teeth. "Tell me what you are planning!" he snarled. "If you don't, I'll rip your innards out, and _strangle_ you with them!"

Holy shit, _holy shit,_ why had he ever agreed to this? If he survived this night, he was never showing his face again, until the little demon grew up and moved out of the house.

"Seriously kid!" he choked. "I'm not doing anything, okay?! I wasn't staring at Dick — but if I was maybe staring without realising, it sure as hell wasn't because I wanted to _hurt_ him."

Damian relaxed slightly, and leaned back. His expression remained suspicious. "Then why were you?" he asked.

Wally opened his mouth to argue, and then closed it. It was obvious that Damian wasn't going to be letting go of this anytime soon. If Wally wanted to survive the night, and go home to his warm, wonderful bed, where he could forget any of this had ever happened, it was best to just go along with it.

"Okay," he sighed. _"_ _Hypothetically,_ if I _had_ been staring at Dick…maybe it was because he has really nice eyes."

Damian blinked. "What?"

"…Or a nice smile. You know, when he says one of his lame jokes, or does his usual overly-enthusiastic-about-literally-everything thing, and his entire face lights up?"

Damian stared at him, his eyes wide in confusion.

"Or — or how about how his hair sticks up all over the place, and I just really want to reach out and ruffle it — er, I mean, it makes people want to reach out and — "

Damian cut him off. "So what you are saying is, you think Grayson is…attractive."

Wally froze. "Uh, maybe," he choked, his cheeks heating up. "In a totally objective way, of course."

"…And you are jealous because of his good looks, and want to murder him because of this?"

'… _What?_ _'_

"Wha — _NO!_ _"_ Wally spluttered.

Damian leapt to his feet, his fists clenched at his sides. Wally could dimly here the Lilo and Stitch theme song playing in the background, and felt the sudden urge to bang his head repeatedly on the wall.

"I will _NOT_ tolerate any threats on Grayson's life!" Damian snarled.

"Kid, I am _not_ threatening Dick!" Wally snapped. "I just — I like him."

There was a moment of silence. Wally shifted uncomfortably, wishing that he'd never opened his mouth. Because — well, it was true, he supposed. He'd be lying if he said he didn't have feelings for his best friend. But he sure as hell hadn't intended to _tell_ anyone about them, and…why did Bat-Junior keep staring at him? Sure, it was an upgrade from the death threats, but still, this entire situation was making him feel _very_ uncomfortable.

"I don't understand," Damian said at last, sounding…surprisingly child-like.

Wally sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I _like_ Dick, alright? A lot. And…I was staring at him. Because I like him."

Damian blinked.

"…And before you accuse me of anything, I have no ulterior motives. I am not trying to hurt him. I am not plotting anything 'nefarious.' I'm just…" Wally paused, and felt a spark of determination. "I'm going to ask him out."

If he could handle the living hell that was Damian Wayne, surely he could deal with any potential rejection? …Or at the very least, if Dick _did_ reject him, maybe he'd be fine after a few rounds of crying into his pillow, binge eating chocolate ice-cream, and marathoning Days Of Our Lives.

"To where?" Damian asked, his eyes narrowing sharply. "…To a dark, deserted forest, where you will lure him to his demise?"

"No — I'm thinking a nice restaurant somewhere." Wally nodded, smiling slightly. "Maybe a movie after…and speaking of movies, the next time I see Dick, I'm going to tell him to make sure you stay the _hell_ away from anything related to horror and/or thriller."

…

It turns out Wally didn't have to destroy any pillows, or throw away his great physique. Dick said yes, in that usual, overly-enthusiastic way of his. And then he smiled, and Wally decided that this was the best day ever.

"You know I was wondering why you kept staring at me," Dick commented, grinning.

"I wasn't staring," Wally replied, promptly — and he was definitely _not_ going to think about crazy little demon children. Dick had agreed to go on a date with him, and everything was perfect right now.

…And he hadn't been staring _that_ much.


End file.
